I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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