there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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