why didn't you poke me back
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
