Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Please don't give away my fajitas
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
