somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
