so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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