im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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