I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
