"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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