You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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