Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
