I queefed so loud it echoed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
