dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
