lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
