was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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