Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
