those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
