white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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