but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize