yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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