we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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