cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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