dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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