with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
