oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
