tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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