i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Life is so much better after having sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
