Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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