i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
