Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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