we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
