I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize