Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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