I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
