Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
