we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
