Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
