i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
