For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
