Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
