Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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