isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Randomize
