You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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