can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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