...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
