i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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