I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
