It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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