My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
