plz talk dirty to me
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
