it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think my moral compass just broke
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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