no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
