I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
