You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize