We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
either way he was missing a nipple.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
