haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
