I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
