I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
