I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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