You made me cry and you don't even care
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
