He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
