doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
