im so drunk with asians
where?
always
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
