what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
