miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
