Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
