I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Couch. On fire.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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