They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
